All of this means that I'm (a) working with Warren Spector, (b) working for Disney (and therefore Marvel), (c) making video games and other creative expressions. Friends and longtime readers* know what a head-exploding good thing all of this is for me.
And yes, I am now back in Austin, Texas, bouncing around from generous couch to generous couch (and sometimes even getting a bed), and bouncing back and forth between Austin and NC as I try to sell my house there, and take care of my family who's so awesomely sacrificing so I can pursue this crazy gig.
With all of this, I'm slow boating the "getting back into the Austin acting scene" (other than voice work), because new job plus crunch isn't conducive to me being out for a few days at a time for film shoots.
But I'm excited to get back into it here, because the acting landscape has changed surprisingly over the last two years, I'm jonesing to be back on a set, I'm burning the candle at both ends, and all this plus the whole not having a pot to piss in has made me ****ing raw and ready to do some daring stuff.
Anyway, there's a new podcast over at http://egtpm.blogspot.com from me and a couple of my toy job co-workers. The three of us have a decent working relationship and good chemistry, and at Vince's spontaneous "let's do a podcast right now", we churned out a quick, breezy, non-shilly round table with our take on the recent Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) video game event.
This is a "preview" podcast for Gamebryo 2.6, but 2.6 released last month, and I'm just now getting around to posting the audio for the interview with Dan Amerson, technical director for Gamebryo.
It's not all that sexy, but it's audio, and it's out in the wild.
I've just accepted a new job in North Carolina, and I start the first of November (yes, less than two weeks from now).
Which means I'll shortly be making a break from my more than ten-year home of Austin, on to the next phase this adventure.
This is wicked exciting, and wicked hard for me. I've been blessed on so many fronts in the decade I've been in Central Texas -- with relationships, professional ties, and acting.
Now, I'm choosing to say goodbye to the day-to-day blessings of those things.
Why?
In my current acting training, there's a rule that says I don't make a change in what I'm doing in a scene unless and until I'm compelled by something more profound.
I've been taking concerted steps for almost three years to position myself to move into the video game vertical market (it's unfortunately very closed). Almost out of the blue, an opportunity opened that lets me apply my technical background, my mad Biz Dev skillz, my enjoyment of PC and video (and table top, come to think of it) games, my people passion, and my creativity in one place. I'm pretty sure I've never had a such a mutually excited interview process; it just so felt like that "perfect storm" of opportunities for my skills and passions.
So I said, "Yes."
Not tepidly. Not half-heartedly. Full-on, let's-make-something-happen, "Yes!"
(Oh, I negotiated; would you want to hire a person who doesn't know how to negotiate?)
And while I said it's wicked exciting, I also said it's also wicked hard.
Yes, I'm finally in the video game industry in a big, makes-sense, impactful kind of way. But I'm also leaving Austin.
I have had some of the same friends for the entire ten years I've been here. I'm solidly networked in the business and technology markets here. I've been growing as an actor here for almost six years. Austin rocks in and of itself.
Which is part of why this job -- and this move -- appeals to me.
Huh?
I'm one of those guys who genuinely likes change. I look for opportunities in change (for myself and other people). The problem with me liking change so much is I'm comfortable with it. But, for me, comfortable is bad. It fosters personal laziness and lack of risk-taking.
What better way to get uncomfortable than to move into a new vertical market, and a new part of the world where I don't have a support base?
That'd do it.
And there's more too it, but I don't think it makes sense to get into it too much here. Suffice it to say acting is hugely important to me, but knowing myself, I have to be careful not to make things like acting too important. It doesn't make sense for me to allow acting to become a god that takes away from more important relationships and responsibilities. I guess it's shorter to say that I'm an adult, and sometimes that sucks on the hard-decision front.
Am I ending relationships in Austin? Of course not -- just the day-to-day phase of those relatiobships. I suspect I'll be back to Austin regularly, but I'm going to be investing heavily in my North Carolina life. It's the InterWeb age, though, so there are six ways to Sunday to hit me up.
Am I giving up acting?
Don't be ridiculous!
My incredible agent will continue to represent me aggressively. I'll be adding East Coast representation, and working in a state that has a good interactive and film incentive program. I'm still available to those long-standing Texas clients who have been willing to fly me out for auditions and gigs. I'll be a short hop from New York. I already have to get on a plane for West Coast gigs, so no big whoop there. My voice travels everywhere.
And weird as it sounds, I'm excited about hopefully getting out - of - my - skin uncomfortable on the acting front. I have some ideas for some fun, gutsy stuff, and I'm hoping I can onboard some to-be-local-to-me NC actors.
Good times are coming.
Like I said, things are happening fast, but I hope to have three quick fairwell get-togethers (social, professional, and acting) in the next couple of weeks. Watch this space.
I'm grateful to the folks who have challenged me, supported me, trained me, and otherwise contributed to my success in my more than decade of there - is - not - enough - time - in - the - day frantic doings. I wish I could sit with every person and say why you rock. I realize that isn't likely to happen.
Let's face it, it's easy to keep in touch with me.
I've got this this Website, which is obviously my main avenue for communicating to the wonderful men, women, and others keeping tabs on my acting and ramblings.
In case you haven't been paying attention, I also use Twitter quite a bit to track folks and keep peeps informed of my day-to-shenanigans and ruminations (think of it as micro-blogging). It's not all deep stuff, but I do consciously use the service strategically to keep you abreast of my professional doings (and I try to avoid the insipid "I'm eating macaroni" type posts).
If you're into Windows Live Messenger (including Yahoo! Messenger, since they inter-operate), send me a request to stay in touch. If I feel close enough to you, I'll add you as a contact. ;-)
If you're a gamer with an Xbox 360, send me a friend request via Xbox Live (Hitachi Wasabe). You can school me online.
And if you're a professional acquaintance of mine, track my career path via LinkedIn.com.
I'm a comic book guy, really enjoy the freedom and gutsiness of the independents, and am blessed with meeting new people at the event each year.
And this year, an animation panel should prove pretty insightful.
Plus, there are more than 60 exhibitors (many of whom I've met over the years), and the chance to check out some top-notch ongoing talent not normally known the mainstream.
This year looks to be a big year, with the now-gen console battle in full swing, and no E3 for developers and publishers to make big announcements. I suspect I'll be blogging a lot.
I'll be doing all three parts of SXSW this year. While I'll be doing the Music Festival for fun, I'll be doing the Interactive and Film Festivals for work -- with the former being a combination of more video game interests and testing the employment waters, and the latter being a combination of work and supporting fellow Biz folks I know.
This one's a hopeful maybe (and if I don't go, I solidly lay blame on BigHugeCorp).
VOICE is the big international voice over related conference, and I've got a lot of folks I know (including some past coaches) going this year. We'll see if I can get this one to fit into my March.
So, crazy month. Good crazy. Come be crazy with me.
It's not called being a "working actor" for nothing....
I'm a big-time gamer, and I do a lot of reading on the subject -- design, video game violence, business and development management methodologies, and so on -- and found an interesting post over at JC Barnett's "Japanmanship" blog (unnecessarily self-deprecatingly sub-titled "The unremarkable life of a videogames developer in Japan").
I am struck by JC's recent "Exit Strategies" post, which covers a topic bigger than just video games -- it's about satisfaction and balance, and applicable to acting and the toy jobs that (for most of us) support our acting.
While admittedly speaking from a demotivated perspective, he is still articulate about where his current balance is lacking, and for what specifics he's looking in order to fix it.
To be fair, I would say a lot of JC's (or my, or anyone else's) concerns about "the grind" -- long hours, other personally draining aspects of work -- will likely be everywhere (if I'm genuinely working passionately on anything). If I'm bought into my toy job (added to my arguably neurotic work ethic), I put in long hours (think 6-week stints of 90-120 hour weeks, or 5, 24-hour days to solve a production issue). Add to working hard for BigHugeCorp my acting, video game, and other passions, and my balance is consistently screwed up. And things I enjoy (home life, fly fishing, comic books, guitar, etc.) can go by the wayside.
So, I'd change JC's comment:
"Extremely rare is the developer person who at one or more points in his or her career hasn’t considered packing it in."
That said, he does a good job articulating things important to him if he were to choose to make a job change (be sure to read the full post to get the details for each):
Balance (work/life)
"Filthy Lucre" ("... being underpaid for so long has really made the need for a good salary priority number one for my next job ...")
Fun ("Not the job itself but the goal of the project")
Creativity
And implicit throughout this list is a desire to something important. Almost altruism -- edutainment projects for kids and the like.
What strikes me about this list is its universal nature.
Who doesn't want balance, money, fun, creativity, all while doing something impactful and meaningful?
So, how do we do that, if the current gig isn't providing for that?
Make the current gig do that.
For me, it's been bringing my outside passions (primarily acting and gaming) into the workplace.
It's also recognizing what I'm made for, versus what I do. I know I was made to lead people. And I was made to act. So I do those two things wherever I am.
And if the personal costs of doing that in the toy job context get too high, or whatever the current work environment is gets in the way of me building people to do big things in a creative, important, self-satisfying ways for me and for them (the "what I do" gets in the way of "what I am"), it'll be time to look for other stuff.
Because what I do is relatively transient. Who I am is the gold. Which is worthy of much filthy lucre.
And someone better damn well stand on a desk and shout "Oh Captain! My Captain!" when I'm gone.
So, I wasn't in "Friday Night Lights" last night. Not only was I cut, but the whole "Driver 1 / Driver 2" sequence was cut out, which had some good stuff.
I'm not too broken up about it, because that's the nature of the beast, and it doesn't take away at all from my having done "Friday Night Lights", and that whole experience (and getting paid for it).
I was in class last night, so it was late when I actually watched the episode. And I pretty much knew I'd been cut beforehand, given the lack of any voice mails about my performance when I turned my phone back on.
And for those holding out hope that I'll end up on the "deleted scenes" section of the Website -- don't hold your breath. The scenes they post are great, generally because they're key scenes with key cast members. And the one clip posted so far for "Little Girl I Wanna Marry You" doesn't have "Part I" after it, so I'm not expecting more from that show.
As an aside, it was been cool to start conference calls on the toy job front today with unexpected, "Adam, I watched 'Friday Night Lights' last night, and I can't believe they cut you!"
This from unexpected people I didn't know read my blog or supported my acting career. I really appreciate that support and encouragement.
I don't typically make New Year's resolutions. This isn't one, but it is a new year, and it's time for a change.
Not in acting, per se. The change on the acting front (God willing), will be a leapfrog of greater, more productive, more amazing things this year than 2006. It will be continuing this ride with the incredible people I've been blessed to meet in the Biz, and meeting new incredible ones. Doing more work.
But the change I'm talking about is on the toy job front.
Bear with me for a little bit, and please realize this is not about self-aggrandizement.
And when I say toy job, I don't mean to demean the non-acting stuff. I give that stuff my focus on passion like I do other stuff in life. For the most part, I don't know how not to work hard at stuff I'm given to do.
Though I've been blessed with amazing opportunities over the last decade, I've ostensibly been in the same vertical market all that time, and I feel it's time for a change.
I'm really good at managing software/programs/services. I've migrated large-scale systems from one functional group to another, from one geography to another. I've worked in Rome (Italy, not Texas) and in mainland China. I've got software patents. I've built teams from the ground up, and said goodbye to them when I've taken on other opportunities (or they have). I've learned that my management style is professional and playful and collaborative and collegial. And that it's important -- for me -- to err on the side of honesty, but not transparency; diplomacy, but not politicking.
I've learned what's important to me in my management style is building people, rather than building things. I've learned to fight good fights for the right things. I've learned to let unimportant battles go.
I've learned all of that helps me build good, important things. And I have fun doing it.
I've learned that I have worth as a human being. And nothing I do (or don't do) takes away from my worth as a person. Who I am defines me, not what I do.
There is tremendous freedom in that. Freedom and knowledge and daring and responsibility. (I'm like Spider-Man.)
So it's time for a change. I got to thinking how once -- being basically a director for programs and services -- I was asked to step in and manage a physical remodel of BigHugeCorps' Austin offices. I did it with no knowledge of commercial construction on a ridiculously short time line with a shortage funds and a wealth of expectations. And I did it on time and under budget and gave them more and better stuff than for which they asked.
I'm an actor. I hadn't done that before. I also hadn't previously pitched a video game or TV show.
That and other stuff has me thinking, "Crap, I really can do a lot of different stuff."
Again, this is not about self-aggrandizement.
I could (and may) stay in the same vertical market, and (God willing) continue to be productive and successful and growing. Or, I could embrace that loving change side of me, and do something really, really different. Really big. Really exciting. Really scary.
I can't speak for other people, but for me it would be easier to stay in what I know. Be the senior guy. Work with the people I know, doing the same kind of stuff. Working with the knowns.
But how exciting would it be to do something I haven't done before? Become the newb (but not a n00b). Do something that takes my feet out from under me, makes me rely on the stuff I really know. Not the stuff related to BigHugeCorp, but the stuff I really know. The stuff that made me successful there. Before there. Hopefully after there.
The guts of my skills. The Core of me. What works, independent of where I'm officed (or cubicled, or streetcornered).
How cool would it be to work for a job that feeds my professional and my creative, my organized and my eclectic. That embraces my white collar process methodology comic book collecting video game playing and critiquing fly fishing recreational running ass whole-heartedly.
What if I turned my passion for playing and writing about video games into a career ("Hello, Electronic Arts")? What if my toy job was actually a toy job ("Hello, Hasbro")? What if I traded my desk job and computer in for a crow bar and tool belt, and moved to demolition or construction, because I love the physical labor, the wiping a pad clean for something new, or building that physical something new.
I've written all of this, knowing it could go nowhere. Maybe I won't find the "different stuff" that also takes care of the "life stuff." Maybe I'll be one of those people -- who for no fault of their own -- struggle in between gigs for a long time. Maybe I'll get cold feet.
I just know, right now, it's time for a change. It's time to be intelligent, but a little less careful. It's time to jump, not knowing where or when I'm going to land. With or without a parachute.
At BigHugeCorp, I just got a resume from a guy who wants me to consider him for work.
The problem is the latest entry on his resume is for a project that I own, and the entry is ... ah ... less than accurate.
Understand, a expect a certain amount of upselling on resumes I'm considering. As a matter of fact, I prefer it, because when I tear into it during an interview, I'm able to plumb the experience depths of the candidate pretty quickly, and see how confident in (or arrogant of) their abilities s/he is.
This was ... different. We're talking so overblown and inaccurate and taking credit for stuff he couldn't have done ...
It was sad.
I can't be specific without risking outing the guy, but it's seriously something analogous to this:
"Created and influenced detergent particles to work synergistically against refuse particles non-conducive to automotive cleanliness."
Today, I was doing training at BigHugeCorp for our new performance review system, and my acting came in really, really handy.
No, I'm not being sarcastic (even though I think our new rating system is a crock and the corporate sell job is embarrassing).
Today, at work, I was handed a script. A real, honest-to-goodness script.
It was a role playing scenario, the instructor asked if there were any real actors in the group, and I nearly dislocated my shoulder answering before the question sank in.
I and another manager (who happens to be a sometime actor) got a moment to read our couple of pages, then go.
Today, I did a cold read at BigHugeCorp. Didn't see that coming, and it was a nice surprise.
But it got better, because I had an epiphany today -- my acting makes me a better manager.
Specifically, I realized I could apply the rules of improv ("Yes, And ...") and Meisner ("Observation of behavior", rather than "Opinion of observation") to have better, more open conversations with the folks who work for me, and those with whom I otherwise work in different ways.
This shouldn't have surprised me (really, an epiphany isn't new information; it's just an "aha" moment where things I already know click in a new and meaningful way).
But the reason I do stuff (The Mastery, Meisner, running) is to be a better person -- and that should improve all the stuff I do. Including being an actor and being a manager. It just became obvious in a real-world way for me today.
Not that it was all rosy. I also got to see what it looks like when managers buy into basically the same performance rating process change Enron did. Nice.
But even with that, the glass for today is still looking pretty half full to me today ...
Evidently, today is "International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day".
One of my fellow managers sent this Email out to our entire, 300-person staff in the local Austin office:
Avast ye, mateys!
Yes, it's September 19th and, just in case it may have slipped your mind, it's International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day!
So, stop by Adam Creighton's office to hear just what kind of pirate a suburban software development manager can be when he really tries. You'll be glad you did!
I know someday will by my last day at BigHugeCorp.
Maybe I'll get to choose it; maybe I won't. Maybe I'll work there until I die. Maybe I'll die prematurely.
Usually, I have delusions of grandeur about may last day, where I'll do something big and important and elevated that means something and changes that soulless entity to a bastion of employee kindness.
And, sometimes, like this week, I have a really, really bad series of days where I lose faith that there are thinking individuals worthy of trust in the world, and I think, "Maybe I'll just wear one of these shirts on what will become my last day of work" (Not safe for work; or those easily offended):
Maybe the hoodie. And the thong (so I feel pretty). And I'd drink coffee from the mug. And if I still had Loki, I'd bring her to the office and have her wear the doggie tee (even though I'm opposed to dogs being dressed up). That's a picture.
In a 10 hour day, that's an average of 3 minutes to per message. Are we really receiving, comprehending, evaluating, and delivering considered responses in 3-6 minutes?
Of course, 3 minutes assumes that all I'm doing is Email. Which I wasn't.
Looking at my IM log, I had like 27 separate IM conversations, and there were 4 scheduled conference calls, multiple other ad hoc calls, hallway meetings, and personal interactions.
Sure, many of these happend concurrently; but that doesn't make this whole problem better.
We are so broken ... Gotta think about how to fix it ...
"Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right."
"Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." "Prepare for battle." "Never tire of doing what is right." . . . (Ad infinitum.)
First there was Monday night's Casting Works LA showcase (which went well, thank you), and all of its hours of preparation, then a get-together with talented actor friends into the night.
Then, yesterday, I was back at CWLA to collate headshots and DVDs for mailing the showcase to Casting Directors (Tips for newbie actors: Have enough headshots, have them the right size, and don't get them photocopied at Kinko's in not-so-pleasing green/gray/blue stripes), and then I worked on programming a widget I hope to add to my Web site to make actor's lives easier. More to come on that later. After that, I ducked out to do a Meisner workout with Errich, Nikki, Marcus, and Lydia.
Today, I was off to a kids' film(ish) camp to talk about voice acting, which worked out about as I expected ("Can you do Darth Vader's voice? Can you do R2D2? Can you do a hungry hamster? Can you do Bullwinkle the Moose?"). But, I did have one kid come up to me on my out and say, "Hey, I thought you were going to be a boring speaker, but you weren't. That's good, because I hate boring speakers."
OK.
Then I had drive like a madman back to CWLA for an audition for an in-house industrial, and ran into fellow Collier talents (and classmates) Drew Whelpley and Tom Procida, and met fellow agency talent David Precopia, who people have said reminds them a lot of me. Seems like a nice guy, so I'll rethink my "bump off the competition" plan.
Good guys, all, so it's going to be competitive for this gig. I still want it over them, though.
And tonight, I'm back on for Meisner class #3.
I'm freaking exhausted, because I'm juggling all this with home life and the toy job, where I'm covering for my manager, various projects are going south, and BigHugeCorp, despite it's empty mantras, does not value people, and has no loyalty to them.
But, at least things are busy on the gigs front. For the most part, these are authentic folks who value relationships ...
We were informed today as an FYI at BigHugeCorp that a company somewhere near us is doing mass layoffs, so we can expect large amounts of Austin City Police to be around, "just in case".
Today, as a manager at BigHugeCorp, I endured a couple of hours of "Legal Review for Managers" training.
There were 55 slides, but here's the summary:
Can you be sued? Yes.
Can they win? Yes.
Does it matter if I'm right? No.
Who's fault is it? Yours.
I spent the time being sarcastic with a few of my fellow managers, making various paper airplanes out of the handouts, and punking one unfortunate individual who chose to be a good corporate citizen by locking his laptop while he went to the bathroom. Since he locked it to a rolling chair, I rolled it right out to just outside the bathroom.
All kidding aside, the two hours of training frustrated and disappointed me, because it was all around avoidance management -- not management by partnership, or management by doing the right thing.
Are there companies out there that encourage genuine leadership, and put accountability where it belongs?